I’ll try to be concise and clear.

I’m on hiatus again. My head’s not right. My feelings aren’t right. My life isn’t going right. I need some time away from Tumblr and Reddit, so I can heal myself and become a better person.

I’ll probably be out for a large majority of 2018, and whenever I come back, I’ll make a new blog as astraldirectrix filled with things I can be proud of.

One last shoutout to good folks: 

• @ronin-warriorsfanatic, thanks for the KH stuff :) 2018 will be a hell of a year for KH fans like us; go seize the moment!
• @manadarkmagiciangirl, @azzyfox and friends (the cast of YuGiOh Arc-V Abridged), I will always love you guys. Best of luck with all your endeavors <3
• @gameheadknight, thanks for your company. Don’t be afraid of what life throws at you. Hold your head up high, my friend.
  
• @pendulumprince, I’ve sincerely loved our camaraderie and card game anime shenanigans. I know we both have busy and complicated lives, but I truly wish you the best that life has to offer. Take hold of the wind, into the VRAINS! The fun has just begun!

And for anyone who may be reading this: here’s the last four lines of Charles Bukowski’s “The Laughing Heart”, one of my favorite poems:

“your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.”

I’ll see you all when I do.

- Amane Mizuhashi

Eyeshine (Johnny Yong Bosch’s band) is breaking up at the end of this year.

That’s disappointing, but I guess this ride has gone as far as it can go.

Best of luck to JYB and the gang on future endeavors!

Thanks for all the tunes.

Everything here is meaningless and it hurts so much.

I really wish it didn’t.

I even think for a bit that maybe net neutrality really should die so we can wake up from this delusion and get on with our lives.

But that’s too cruel for you all, isn’t it?

Then why can’t I stop the feeling of drowning?

Honestly, just thinking about Tumblr makes my stomach churn. I feel like I’m in hell.

I don’t really like this place as much as Reddit, and yet I don’t want to leave. It’s like I have unfinished business here, even though I feel so uncomfortable.

I don’t really know how to deal with people here, because it feels like I’m always left out of their activities just to take better care of myself IRL. What do I really want from this place, and why does it matter whether people care or not? Does it matter to other people that I’m on this platform? I may as well be shouting into a void.

I feel like I don’t belong here, not anymore.

I came here to follow artists and writers and theorize about anime. Hell, I want to be an artist and a writer and put my theories into my work. And I really hope people will notice me and like me.

But if none of that happens, does it matter? Should it even matter?

“To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you are the world.”

Then who am I?